Bolaji, banker and mother of two, was murdered by her husband after an
intense argument. Kola, 36, slaughtered with scissors in his sleep in
the middle of the night following a quarrel with his wife. Titi,
thrown down the window from the second floor by her husband during a
fight. She died instantly. This list is endless.
One of the most popular kinds of crime-news making rounds these days
is that of spouses, supposed lovers, killing each other. Something has
gone wrong somewhere. We need a very quick fix.
These two take the marriage vows, "to have and to hold, for better
for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love
and to cherish...
With this Ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all
my worldly goods I thee endow: In the name of the Father, and of the
Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen."
After these vows, couples are encouraged by the church, elders,
counselors, parents and siblings to stay with their partners in their
marriages no matter what happens. This sounds good, yet it has become
important for us to check if we if we are doing the right thing,
asking people to stay under the same roof with dangerous people until
they are murdered like Titi, Kola, Bolaji and lots of others with
untold stories.
How can a tale of love become that of violence and death?
Can two people be married, yet carry out such devilish acts on each
other? When does a marriage become sour? When does a home become this
dangerous?
Let's talk about divorce...it doesn't start in court. It is not just
that ultimate ruling of separation. It has little to do with the
papers and procedures; it has nothing to do with the Judge. The real
thing that breaks up marriages starts gradually.
When a man or a woman begins to act against the vows he/she made on
the day of their wedding, he or she has begun the divorce procedures,
which may not just end in separation. Many times, it has fatal ends as
we obviously can see...
How can a man who has vowed before God and man "to have and to
hold" neglect his wife without any care in the world what
happens to her? Has divorce not begun?
Your spouse only knows when you are poorer, she never knows when you
are richer; you are already filing for divorce.
When a woman who has promised to love and cherish show disrespect to
her husband, she definitely has begun a divorce process, which never
ends well.
When partners begin to beat each other up, when they begin to threaten
each other with weapons, when they begin to inflict wounds and pain on
each other instead of honoring each other as promised, divorce has
already begun.
Your little seemingly harmless acts of unfaithfulness end up breaking
the marriage, sometimes, breaking heads and bones on its way.
For every broken marriage, for every home where violence is being
experienced, we have no one to blame but the leering, seducing
flare-up of our own lust. Lust gets pregnant, and has a baby: sin!
Sin grows up to adulthood, and becomes a real killer. James
1:14-15 (MSG)
Obviously, there are several divorced people living as husbands and
wives these days. One can make bold to say some have begun the divorce
procedures right from the first day of their marriages.
For each of your acts of unfaithfulness to your spouse, and every time
you do things against your wedding vows, either he/she knows or not,
you are simply filing for divorce and one day you will reap its
fruits; breaking of heads, breaking of bones...breaking of the
marriage.
"I hate divorce," says the God of Israel. God-of-the-Angel-Armies
says, "I hate the violent dismembering of the 'one flesh' of
marriage." So watch yourselves. Don't let your guard down. Don't
cheat. Malachi 2:16 (MSG)
Let's stop unfaithfulness in our marriages.
Let's stop violence in marriages.
It's simply Divorce!
God hates Divorce!!
Let's live according to our marriage vows...to have and to hold.
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