Homegirl,

There has been a long silence. I know. It has not been for the lack of words or time, for there can never be more than 24 hours a day, as deemed adequate for fulfillment of all purposes by the creator. Rather it is the limitation of mental space, and a constant fight to attain equilibrium. This fight is what drives us every single day to achieve all we can.

However, what is so dear to my heart is your calls and emails, just to check on me. It is so beautiful, so heartfelt and so appreciated.

Can we take it from where we left off?

I find it perplexing that we expend so much energy, so much time in learning how to love people but pay little or no attention to learn how to love ourselves.

No, this is not a call to self-centeredness or a lesson in selfishness, for those in themselves reflect an absurd outlook on one’s life.

This is a clamor for self-love—a conscious and even unconscious regard for the totality of oneself; a devotion to discovering, honoring, admiring and nurturing the uniqueness of YOU and appreciating the specificity of your purpose, beauty, everything that makes up YOU.

It is discovering that NO ONE is better than YOU—yes, they could be more privileged, but no, not better—and acknowledging that you are not better than anyone. Therefore, there is no need to walk around town or amongst peers with drooping shoulders, head usually down in timidity and shame, face clouded in dullness, constantly wishing you were like the girl standing next to you.

If you spend all your time and energy trying to be someone else, the best you can be is the version of someone else, a photocopy.

However, why don’t we concentrate the same energy on being a better YOU? By that, you emerge as a refined gold.

Loving you is honoring what constitutes YOU.

It is admiring and appreciating your own beauty.

It is the teasing out of your strengths to benefit generations and the remolding of your weaknesses in becoming a better you.

Loving YOU is being at ease with YOU.

If you love YOU, you will respect YOU

If you love YOU, you will nurture YOU.

If you love YOU, you will discipline YOU.

If you love you, you will pamper YOU.

In addition, when you start to love YOU, you will be able to love others truly, just as the Lord commanded to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. You will be able to appreciate their uniqueness and live peaceably with them.

Then, you will indeed be your father’s daughter.

Isn’t that awesome to know?

Stay beautiful.

Your Homegirl,

Adeyinka Oresanya.